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Fellow Friends of Bill W. & Those seeking a sober life:                    

 

My name is Tim and I’m an alcoholic.  As I sit here at my computer at my desk, I look back 7 years when I was living in a city park under a tree.  My sole pursuit in life was alcohol. I'd been living on the streets for more years than I remember. Now I have a home, shop, everything I ever wanted... The most precious of all is 8+ years of sobriety, which in pursuing, with the Good Lords help, brought me the rest. 

 

 

          

click on pic. to enlarge 

                     

           Me and my family.... click to enlarge

  It’s not hard to remember how far my alcoholism had taken me. Most of my life, actually, but I’ll start when I arrived in Denver in January ’98, my only possessions were a backpack & Timber Wolf dog.  I’d been bouncing from state to state via “thumb”.  I’d lost everything close to me and had literally given up on life. A situation it seems I’d been in my whole life. My present employment was holding or “flying a sign” on street corners, reading something like “will work for food,” etc.  It kept me drunk.  I soon lost both the dog & pack.

  I don’t know what kept me alive sometimes, but I’m sure now it was God.  I was out there for a long time, on the streets, picked up one hustle after another, anything to survive.  I had been respectable (normal?) before; real jobs, relationships, cars.  The only thing I actually held onto through life was that craving for alcohol.  Jails & detox center were almost the only times I slept indoors during my first two years in Denver.  Why I stayed in Denver is a mystery to me.  I became an adept panhandler.

  About 9 years ago, after 2 years living the streets, I woke up one Sunday morning, on an island in a pond in City Park.  I was covered in snow, half frozen.  I was “vodka sick,” the shakes taking over.  Something inside me had just given up. I’d hit the very bottom.  I had to do something or die.  I had been to A. A. before but wasn’t ready.  This time I felt was my last chance.  York Street is well known, though I’d never been there.  It’s an old mansion that was donated to A. A. in that late 1940’s.  I walked in looking rough, unshaven, unwashed; street life wasn’t pretty.  They would actually let me in the door.  My first meeting was 7:00am.  I had the shakes so bad  I could barely hold a cup of coffee with both hands.  But I stayed & listened.  One person bought me breakfast, and they told me to stick around.  I did.  Someone let me sleep in their car in the parking lot that night.

 I stayed sober awhile, maybe a week the first time.  But they had planted the seed of A. A. in my mind, and they told me to keep coming back.  I did, and things started getting better.  It took me awhile to actually get any length of sobriety.  Things started getting better.  This other person, John, I met while flying a sign one day, put me to work and let me crash at his place.  He wasn’t in the program, and is one of the few people in my life now who remembers me when I was drinking and seen me at my very worst. 

  One day after I’d been sober for a while, working different jobs and had obtained a couple vehicles, I got angry and decided I’d had enough of Denver.  I took my car and hit the road drinking.  Next stop was a jail in Kansas. Didn’t make it far.  John and my A. A. friends helped me get back to Denver, after 20 days in jail, in Russell, Kansas.  I lost my car – someone bought it so I could pay my fines.

  One more try.  I had to stay sober.  I started working as a mechanic for a tree company.  That lasted about 9 months and I learned a critical lesson: don’t let your boss be your sponsor.  Working the program is more important. I got an apartment, then a house.

  That soon ended, though.  My boss/sponsor and I had a clash and there was my excuse to drink.    That time lasted 2 weeks or so, and found a very significant change overcome me.  My 9 months of sobriety had replaced something I’d lost a few years back – my conscience.  And no matter how much I drank, I couldn’t kill it.  They tell you in A. A. that a belly full of booze & head full of A. A. doesn’t mix.  I’m living proof.  I felt so guilty about drinking and letting all of my friends down, because all of my friends were now sober.  I was to the point then of sobering up or taking my own life.  I chose life, but the cost was almost more than I could take.

 

  That was my last drink to date.  And it cost me my home.  I couldn’t pay the rent so it put me into a 13’ camper on the back of my truck. I parked in the lot at York Street for almost 2 months.  I’d had business cards made a couple months prior which read “Tim the Mechanic”, and I still had my cell phone & tools.  Since I was living in the parking lot of an A. A. club, I had no excuse to miss the 7:00am meeting every morning,. “Attitude Adjustment.”  And it was.  The biggest boost of all was the Third Step Prayer:

                   “God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and do with me as Thy will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those I might help, of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life.  May I do Thy will always.”

    I got into the work, doing the steps.  I’d work on cars wherever they were parked for 3 months of so.  Then I met Dan through a friend in the program.  I did some work for him and we camped in his warehouse parking lot awhile.  He offered me the use of a building he used for storage to work on cars.  It was 2200 square feet, mostly filled with cars.  I didn’t know if it was God’s will or not.  But a couple of weeks later I had a clutch job and needed a place to do it. Business had picked up.  We started living in the camper across from the shop, but I was drawing attention as well.  City zoning step into the picture, and I made some changes.  All the shop had was a toilet that had been there since the 40s’.  over the next few months, I worked on cars or on the building 24/7.  I built my own bathroom from scratch, literally, except for the plumbing.  It was filled with little miracles along the way; I needed things like bathtub, shower stuff.  I picked it all up from the most unusual places.  One job I picked up originally turned out that I didn’t get paid on - a house remodel job.  The contractor took of with the money.  But he was storing stuff left over from that job and other remodel jobs in my shop (we had took over payments & moved out all the car by then).  In any other situation it would be considered junk, but mixed in was a lot if the things I needed. 

  I worked 20 hours a day for a week, but it was all worth it when I experienced my first hot shower.  I didn’t even have the walls finished yet, so I stapled plastic to the ceiling around the showerhead.  Over the next couple months I built another room, with some help from someone I was helping stay sober.  He was living in the camper from my truck that I put in the shop – it was a 2200 square feet shop.  I then picked up $1200 in maple hardwood cabinets in a deal, so I built a kitchen-even installed a dishwasher.  God works in mysterious ways.  I set up a computer and learned how to use it.  Even started a web page at timthemechanic.com.  But there was always chaos in my life, most of it self-inflected.  I’d take on jobs that seemed impossible to most.  To sleep more than 4 hours a night was a good thing.

  Then one night, mid February ’02, this friend & customer showed up late.  It was well below zero outside.  He was really drunk & looking for a warm place to sleep it off.  He had a Chevy Suburban parked outside.  I really didn’t have room in the living area, so I pulled his truck inside and told him he could sleep in it.  He had a sleeping bag and it was at least 45 degrees inside.  My conditions were that he not start the vehicle and he go to my 9:30 meeting the next morning – it’s actually the place I met him.  The next morning, around 8, I went to wake him.  I knew immediately that he wasn’t going to.  He was stiff and cold to the touch.  It’s something you don’t forget. 

  I spent the next hour dealing with the coroners’ office and detectives.  I remember the big door being wide open, 10 below outside everyone freezing. Alcohol poisoning, they said later.  The police were cool, though, and let me go in time to catch the last half hour of my meeting.  I needed them to know what alcohol does.  My mind kept asking why I had survived through all of my drinking years, sleeping & living outside in far worse conditions and with as much alcohol inside me, and I was still alive.  Ray, my camper guest, was there, too.  He didn’t learn anything; he went back out drinking not long after.

  It forced me to make some decisions in my life.

  Briefly: over the next year I moved into a small 21’ travel trailer. 

 

  The miracles I speak of are everyday.  It’s like God keeps opening the right doors for me and I walk through.  The struggles are enormous sometimes.  My body is beat up and scarred, but from hard, rewarding work- not from falling down drunk, fighting the cops or someone else.  I lived for the last year in a 31’ Airstream travel trailer.  I had this given to me for $850.  It cost $30,000 new in ’78 but is still near perfect.  That was my “God thing”, as I call it.  It’s called a Silver palace.  And my dog, Jakote, an Australian Cattle herder dog, is just perfect.  I could not ask for more.  

 

  God & A. A. gave me a life.  I learned how that I was powerless over alcohol & my life had become unmanageable –that His awesome power was the only thing that could show me what sanity was, let alone restore it.  Sanity had really never been a part of my life.  You know, my folks were alcoholics, siblings too.  My decision to let go and let God changed my life in such a way that I live miracles every day of my life.  To learn forgiveness is to get rid of all the garbage from my past as easy as the delete key on this computer.  Resentment  - the killer of us all.  Most of us let that crap build until explosion.  I just let God have it and he relieved me of it all.

  If I were to take credit for any of this I’d be lying.  I just walked through the doors that God opened for me and did what was put before me.  I just do the “next right thing” and it works.  I don’t follow my will; I take God’s lead.  Trusting God to lead me through the many obstacles I’ve encountered in my sobriety.

  I celebrated 3 years continuous sobriety 1/20/04.  I closed on this house 2/06/04.  4 years ago I was called things like bottom feeder, street tramp.  Now I’m happily married, have my faithful pup Jakote; I have my family back.  I’m trusted again.  My sister Linda, with 14 years or so in the program, someone who has seem me hit the bottom, has witnessed all the miracles in my life, and did things she would never imagined doing before to help us buy a house.  God’s awesome, folks.  Every day of my life is a miracle…. Could you imagine, after living under bridges, behind dumpsters, parks - and now  self-employed homeowner."!  Everything I'd ever needed and more than I ever wanted.  And only GOD cold have created this miracle.

A few days ago I registered my trade name, "Tim the Mechanic" and opened a business account.  My mom is flying down from Spokane to spend the 4th of July holiday with me, and my sister's coming from California.

8/6/04  Submitting business plan for grant to kick-start business.  Every prayer helps, so friends & family feel free to add your prayers to mine that this gets accepted.  I might get a grant or loan for enough to go completely professional. 

2/6/05  Now in my new home for one year.  Celebrated 4 years of sobriety on 1/20/05.  Still no luck on the business plan, but mostly because of life's "distractions".  Refinancing my home will hopefully give the boost I need.

My sister Linda arrived here in Colorado 2 days ago with everything she owns and her family.  She wants us to share our stories on recovery together, to others still suffering and she plans on starting a ministry for women in recovery.  Miracles happen everyday... more later...

9/03/05

A million things have happened since my last update.  Good things and bad.  My family has settled in well, business is great but still cluttered with the occasional chaos.  Still sober, though, celebrated 4 years last January, now getting closer to 5.

Lost two of my closest friends to suicide: first, my pastor Bruce McBogg.  A man I've always looked up to, a truly "Godly man".  Bruce had overcome more than I ever could, bringing perhaps thousands to the Lord.  It's actually been a year now since his passing.  I'm still not over it, really.  Bruce started life on the wrong side of life, as many of us have.  At a young age he was involved in an armed robbery, sentenced to life in prison after taking someone's life.  The Lord released him and he in turn started a ministry that saved many lost souls.  "Christ's Body Ministries", at 850 Lincoln, Denver.

 They helped save my life - Bruce baptized me in 1998, married me in '02.  They minister to the homeless and less fortunate people.  He gave his life's testimony in a book, "The Road to Nowhere is a Two Way Street."  There were 100's of people at his memorial, a lot of people who loved him... "Rest in Peace, my brother".

Jeff Barry took his life in May or June- he wasn't found for awhile afterwards.  Jeff help me when I was still a tramp, living is City Park.  He's one of those he spent his time helping other.  I wonder where both of these men would be now had they been able to see their own memorial services before making that last decision of their lives. Likewise, his memorial service brought many friends and lives he had changed for the better...  "I hope and pray that the Lord brought you home, my friend".

Things have continued to change since I first started this website.  It's now January 6th, 2006! Hard to imagine I still live in the same house, next month will be 2 years.  I can't remember ever living in one place that long.  Apparently, sobriety and I do well together.  And everything keeps getting better.  5 years sober in two weeks!

UPDATE: 2-03-06 WONDERFUL NEWS!!!

The miracles don't stop.  In the last 5 years it seems that I learned a few things about life, how to truly trusting in God for what I need.  I must be doing something right, because He's blessed my life in every way.  The most awesome gift of all happened yesterday.  I was reunited with my daughter Amber.  It's just now soaking in.  Further updates later.

UPDATE 9-29-07

Life just keeps getting better, really haven't remember to update. Another day more cars and trucks. 2 or 300 since last here. Finally found the truck I've been wanting forever.  Details at : cars . She's a show truck.

May 13th, 2008

Big changes since my last update.  I found out that the mortgage broker and appraiser who did the last refinance on my home screwed me, and we had to make some changes - It's a long depressing story that I will not go into, but here's living proof that when God closes one door he opens another.

Struggling to to maintain a $2000 mortgage payment every month, working in snow, mud, rain dirt outside was taking it's toll. Then a good customer Dale whom had also become a friend showed me a shop that was coming open soon on his property that he offered to share with me. Then it turned out it wasn't big enough for what he needed and I took over the whole shop. It was everything I'd ever dreamed of and more: 3 bays, 2 with twelve foot doors and one smaller.  Someone with some big dreams had built it and had a heart attack, or so I'm told.  Then for the past few years several people had tried to use for other things and failed, and for the last year or so was left as storage.

So I moved in, spent night and day setting it up.  It has a waste oil furnace - burns used motor oil and transmission fluid.  I had to service it, replace parts, etc., but now it works great!  It was piped for an air compressor, so now my big compressor is hooked where I can plug into air anywhere!  Any I met an automatic transmission specialist, Fred West, who amazes me with his knowledge.  He has the same values concerning honest work and now has his transmission shop set up is part of my shop.

 

Then, during all this, a cute little 2 bedroom house on the same property became vacant. And it can be nothing less then what I can "A God Thing..."  I have my shop a cute little house next door, both for $500 less a month then my other house.

I still don't really advertise, and my shop stay busy.  I can do twice the work in half the time.  So keep the faith my friends and know sobriety is still my number one priority.  I will update this more later.  It's a cold and raining day outside but I have a nice dry and warm shop to work in.

4-8-09

It's been a long time since updating.  It's now spring and I'm still going.  8 years sober on 1-20-09.  Work's been steady, life's been pretty good.  Suffered a couple losses, and waiting for my mom to pass on now.  Revisited my home stomping ground in Spokane and had some closure on family issues.  It's only the second time I've been there in 15 years.  Felt like a ghost from the past.  Streets I'd lived on and off for nearly 30 years. More on this later.

This website is a way for me to count my blessings.  If I remember where I came from and what I've accomplished - with the Lord's loving hand - I won't lose it.  To see my family again, all sober and growing stronger day by day, was a necessary thing.  It's making amends without words.  My sister Linda has 20 years plus sober. Now my sister Joy has 2 years sober.  What a miracle!  My mom, the one who brought me here is almost gone.  To see her was heartbreaking...  Joy's been her caretaker for the last 8 month (?) and the growth in Joy's spirituality  is unbelievable.

Update:

5-3-09 -I've been in this shop for over 14 months now.  There's been a few setbacks, but bills get paid and life is good.  My experience with cars just keeps growing.  I started this business 8 years ago with a small box of tools, business cards, a cell phone living in a camper mounted on a pickup. Everything I owned. Now I'd need nearly a 2 ton flatbed just to move my tools.

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

Love and blessings,

  Sincerely,

Tim Branthoover